Two Steps Back; Three Steps Forward – by Sharon Stolebarger

Two steps back; three steps forward. I am here in Israel, sitting at the Western Wall. I had an appointment here…with God. I prayed about what to write this month, and He simply gave me the title, “The Wall,” and to meet Him there. Ok God, here I am!

Two steps back; three steps forward. It has been so long since I have been here by myself, to sit and listen to God. With our tour groups, I usually just watch as everyone else goes to the Wall. It is a private experience for me. Just God and myself (well, hundreds of others are here as well, but I try not to focus on them).

Two steps back; three steps forward. What is it about this place that draws so many? To the Jews, it is the place where they come to be closest to God, since this part of the Wall dates back to the original Temple. But I know that is not exclusively true. The closest I can come to God is when I choose to be in His presence, whether it be on my face, captivated by worship, or mopping the kitchen floor. All I have to do is CHOOSE to be in His presence; He is already there…waiting and longing for me, no matter where I am.

Two steps back; three steps forward. I am sitting here in the shade (it is extremely hot), watching the women devoted to prayer (there are separate areas for men and women). There are Jewish women, women with babies strapped to their backs with prayer books in hand. I see women bobbing their heads, bending from the waist, backwards and forwards. I liken this to raising my hands in worship. It is an outward action bringing them into a clearer awareness of the presence of God. I see one woman whose face is buried in her prayer book, hiding her tears. “Be with her Heavenly Father! Heal whatever it is that is hurting her heart.”

Two steps back; three steps forward. There is a reverence here, not unlike that upon entering a Catholic Church (yes, I am an ex-Catholic). There are many tourists, trying to get to the Wall, hoping to find a sliver of space in which to place their written prayers to God. Have I ever done this? You bet! Do I believe there is something magical or mystical about the Wall? Absolutely not, but I DO believe God honors anything we do to tell Him. And so I write, and I place my petitions in the wall. “God, please pay attention, it’s important to me. I beg of you. Hear my petitions!” “In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, for You will answer me. Ps. 86:7

Written Prayers at the Wall

Two steps back; three steps forward. The “correct” protocol when leaving the wall is to NEVER turn your back on God. The people, therefore, walk backwards a respectful distance before turning around to exit. But God is not IN the Wall. One could be facing the Wall, and yet have their heart totally turned away from God. It does not matter if I walk forward, backward, or sideways. It only matters where my heart for God is.

Two steps back; three steps forward. So what is it that I do NOT see? Jesus. Many years ago, God gave me a vision (this has only happened very few times in my life). I was sitting at the Wall. It was a very dry time for me in my life. I saw the people scurrying about, preparing for Shabbat, hurrying, hurrying hurrying. “I must get home, but I must pray first…hurry!” I said to Jesus: “Where ARE You?” Here I was in the Holy Land and I had missed Jesus! God gave me a picture, in my mind’s eye. It was Jesus, walking on the top of the Wall, His head drooped, His hands entwined behind His back. He was looking down on the Apple of His Eye and saying “They don’t get it. They just don’t get it!” Jesus is missing from the Wall – except in the hearts of Believers.

Two steps back; three steps forward. Today is Shabbat. Once Shabbat starts, I will not be allowed to write – it is not permitted. Later today, I know this place will be cluttered with those rushing to get their prayers said in order to get home in time for Shabbat. But I am free from these laws.
I can write, I can walk as far as I like, I can push the button on the elevators. I am even free to go to the Aroma Café on Hillel Street, as it will remain open on Shabbat – YES! But is all this freedom good for me? Not always. You see, I often CHOOSE television, shopping, boating – and I forget God. There is part of me that envies their devotion to the Sabbath, demanded of them by their laws. Oh that my freedom of choice would be as devoted to God.

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; All things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. ~ I Cor. 10:23

Two steps back; three steps forward. “What is this about two steps, three steps?” you ask me. I often see women here at the Wall taking two steps backwards, then three steps forward. They are entering into their invisible prayer closet, closing out the world, entering into the presence of God. May we all enter into our prayer closets daily! I have tried this before. Two steps back, three steps forward. Here I am God. Help me to listen!